Have you ever felt 'out of sync' with the individual you're talking to? Have you ever ended a conversation with someone thinking "We're just not on the same wavelength!" Don't worry, it happens to all of us. However, we can change this by building rapport with literally anyone. This is one of the cornerstones of NLP.
Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of unconscious human interaction.
It can be described as a state of mutual trust and responsiveness between individuals or groups of people. Building rapport is so fundamental in life, that it can be the difference between brokering a big business deal or getting nothing at all. By establishing good rapport at the outset we can gain commitment from the other party, conscious or unconscious, to trust the process even when they do not fully understand how the process works and what the ultimate outcome will be.
The most important thing to remember here is that people like people who are like themselves.
Think about people you truly get on with, who you have rapport with and you really like. Then think about their mannerisms, tonality, behaviours - similar to yours, no?
In NLP, here's a few indicators of rapport building :
- Matching someone's posture (Are they sitting, standing, kneeling, slouching?)
- Matching their breathing (this is a good one for if you want to be more subtle and not spook out the person you're communicating with!)
- Using some of the key words they have been using
Try some of these out, and see if you feel more in rapport with individuals you may have previously found difficult to get on with.
