My story...so far!

I've been blogging now for almost 2 years and only today realised that I'd never actually shared my story with you wonderful people!

I find sharing one's story can be of real therapeutic value, not only to the writer, but also to readers who may well be in a similar situation.  It's a great way of getting your experience 'out there' as it were, and it's perhaps something that is a bit long overdue!

Ideally when recovered, I'd really like to publish a book of my experience through ME/CFS, my ups/my downs, how I found the answers, and how it changed me as a person, not just physically and mentally, but also spiritually and emotionally.  Maybe this blog post would be a good starting point...a practice run! I suppose I'm also writing this in the hope that it will encourage others to share their stories too. They can be so inspiring. So here goes..

Me about 2 months before getting ill with M.E./CFS. Flying off a rope-swing in Fiji, where I'd been working that summer. I was very physically active in my teenage years

As a young child and teenager I'd been pretty healthy.  Had the odd bouts of Tonsillitis and colds, but who doesn't at that age.  I was very active in the sporting arena, representing my school in Rugby and Cricket, whilst also playing men's football for a club in my area.  I had the highest stamina (or amongst the highest in my year!)  I won the 400m in my age group at sports day 3 years running (I don't write this to boast, just to emphasise how high my fitness levels were! :-) ) I pushed myself hard academically, getting A's at A Levels. I had very high standards for myself, and whatever I achieved, never seemed to be enough. I always had my eye on the next goal...the next challenge.  I suppose you could call me a very Type A personality - which is very common for people who have gone through this condition.  First year of uni flew by - drank a lot, made some great friends, had some great experiences, enjoyed my independence. It was probably the best year of my life.  I travelled to Fiji that summer (2009), and worked as a teacher over there.  It was great fun.  Once back in the UK, 2nd year was fast approaching, and I started thinking about what career might suit me best.

Then everything changed. I fell extremely ill with Gastro-enteritis. It was so bad that I could barely get out of bed (interestingly prior to this, I'd had an underlying cold for a few weeks.)  I was completely drained.  I improved somewhat, but then a week later I contracted Glandular Fever.  Double whammy.  I was so ill I couldn't even leave the house, or my room for a long time.  This period is still very hazy to me.  I think the trauma of all the unexplained symptoms, no energy, and constant dizziness has caused my conscious mind to block it out.  I kept thinking, 'What's wrong with me?' 'Why am I getting these symptoms?' 'What's happened to my energy?'  I was literally in the crash and burn phases of the illness.  In hindsight, I really should have really rested and just slept, but I just plowed on through - there was work to be done, therefore I had to do it.  The next 4 months were a mixture of unexplained painful symptoms, extreme levels of anxiety, a heavy workload, and 4 Red Bull a day.  In this first year of illness, I went through several relapses and just tried to push through everything, not realising that constantly pushing was making my symptoms worse.

Me on the far right about 2-3 months into illness...looking quite concerned! I was experiencing pretty severe symptoms at this time, always fearing I was going to collapse or get worse.

I just wanted to psychologically escape the fact that I was pretty severely ill at this point, and it did that by pushing myself like I used to.One constant problem above all else was recurrent Tonsillitis every two weeks - I could have set up my own pharmacy with the number of anti-biotics I'd been prescribed!  This first year was really tough. There was so much confusion and fear as to what was wrong with me and how I could change my situation.  I didn't realise at the time that the constant fear and anxiety about my situation was making things worse.  I somehow managed to play football still for my University team.  Even though I knew it wasn't supporting me, being active and sporty was part of my identity, and I didn't want to lose it! It was a massive struggle, I'd lost pace, and I could feel pretty awful for days after playing a game.  I remember one game where I only managed 10 minutes before I had to stop.  I was a classic 'push through the pain' case.  

I then came across meditation. This actually helped me somewhat, as it (unknown to me at the time) calmed my nervous system down. I also altered my diet to basically 'eat healthier,' without incurring upon myself any exclusions, such as gluten or sugar free.  My diet was still pretty bad, just not as bad as it was - Iceland microwave meals, KFC, and Pot Noodle).  I managed to get through Uni..just about.  However, I'd only really improved a very small amount, and was still very chronically ill.  Perhaps the biggest hinderance at this point was that I still wasn't listening to my body!

Being the typical Type A personality that I was, I decided to look for full-time work..even though I clearly wasn't well enough!  I managed to get through University, but in all honesty, my course required only a few contact hours a week, and a few essays a term.  It almost tricked me into thinking I was better than I actually was.  I got a rude awakening when I went into working life!  I decided to give advertising a shot, as it was something that genuinely interested me and judging by the series 'Mad Men,' looked like it involved lots of client lunches and Scotch.  I worked for a couple of great companies, but I really struggled through, often in extreme physical pain, and feeling intense brain fog, amongst a high level of anxiety and stress about my symptoms.  As my symptoms worsened, my job responsibilities increased.  Unknown to me at the time, by trying to fight my symptoms and resist them, I was simply causing them to intensify and worsen - it was a vicious cycle.  During this period I tried all sorts to cure me of this malady - Acupuncture, Bodywork, Osteopathy, The Lightning Process - you name it I tried it! None seemed to have a positive impact..

I simply couldn't work anymore. Even getting out of bed was a massive challenge, and a painful one.  I had to stop and work on improving my health.  As many of you Type A's will understand, this was a massively hard decision, as by giving up the ability to work and achieve, we are essentially giving up much of our identity and how we define ourselves in that moment.  Unfortunately during my notice period, my employer decided to lump about 6 months work upon my shoulders.  This made me even worse physically, and I actually recall a week before my last day, going to the nearest pub after work and sinking about 4 pints (and feeling even worse!) That was a real low point for me..

I took a month off to relax and re-evaluate.   This was where my turnaround began.  Up to this point I had 3 and a half years of no improvement, and worsening of symptoms.  I was lucky enough to come across The Optimum Health Clinic in North London, through a YouTube video I think.  I initially signed up for their Practitioner Training, as I wanted to work in the field of Therapy, and ideally with people looking to improve their health.  I soon found that this clinic was really at the forefront of M.E. research, and I could see that they offered some fantastic treatment (NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, Coaching.)  I soon signed up as a patient, having seen the numerous recovery stories.  I started working with one of their Nutritionists.  This was when I first noticed a change.  My gut had been an absolute state for around 4 years, but once I got on the nutritional plan, within a few months that seemed to sort itself out.  I was found to have Mitochondrial Dysfunction, so we treated that too.  At this point, I also learnt that I needed to slow down, pace myself more, and listen to my body.  This I have found is vital in improving your symptoms and condition.  I also had a few sessions with one of the Psychology Practitioners, and was taught tools to help calm my system down. This took out a lot of the anxiety that I'd been feeling around symptoms etc.  Progress was slow, but at least it was progress.  It got me up to around the 75% mark.  However, something was still missing, as I was still falling into 'Booming and Busting' patterns.  I was referred to an exercise physiotherapist in October 2014 who specialised in CFS.  When I first started working with her I could only manage 8 minutes walking a day without my symptoms getting a fair bit worse.  4 or so months later, I'm up to 26 minutes a day (without my symptoms worsening), plus 1-2 hours work per day, and Yoga 2-3 times per week.  Tangible progress.  I still have a fair way to go on this, as once I get to 30 mins per day, I gently and incrementally increase the intensity, until I'm jogging everyday and doing some resistance training without a worsening of symptoms.  To reinforce my belief systems, I also regularly read and listen to recovery stories (and they are plentiful these days :-) ) They offer such great wisdom and advice.  I also consistently use the tools I've been taught at The Optimum Health Clinic to help reduce anxiety levels around symptoms etc.

I suppose I wrote this to highlight that change is possible, even when it can seem impossible at times.  The number of times I had tried something new with no success, and went home beating myself up about it were innumerable.  I've had some pretty dark nights of the soul in the last few years, but things are now looking much more positive and structured.  I think I found things that work for me because I kept on believing and never gave up.  Belief is a powerful thing, and it's up to us to harness the positive aspects of belief.

Hope you enjoyed reading.



Adam
x      







  

Epsom Salts : Granny was Right!

"I'm really old-fashioned. An Epsom Salt bath, that genuinely better than any massage." Emilia Clarke

I remember a couple of years ago (although in hindsight it feels like a lifetime ago!), when a Consultant Rheumatologist I was seeing at the time recommended Epsom Salt baths to me.  I was pretty chronically ill at this point. My condition was deteriorating further.  I was forced to give up my job in Advertising, I was completely financially broke, and had no prospects of how or when I would get well.  All I knew at that point was that I was in pretty big trouble and there wasn't a magic pill that would make this daily hell go away.  I was desperate to find answers to turn my situation around.  I tried some pretty 'out there' things, but I hadn't really found anything that gave me much relief from this chronic pain and all these symptoms that had become my life at that point.  

I'd already put up with the Consultant's weekly Magnesium injections, which felt like lead being pumped into my muscles, and I was literally doing anything I could to get better. (I didn't care how loopy people thought I was, I'd try anything)

The Magnesium injections made no difference unfortunately (and they weren't cheap at £125 a pop!), but the Epsom Salts did..slowly..

When I went to the Pharmacy next door to purchase my first tub, the lady at the till said, "Are you buying that for your Nan..? This stuff is for muscle sores and pain Son..."  If only she knew I felt like 108 inside at that time! (Anyone who has had M.E. or has it will get what I mean)

So..I started trying these Epsom Salts.  First off I followed the instructions on the box, scooping a whole kilo in my boiling hot bath, and soaked for 20 minutes. BIG MISTAKE!! I had a massive detox reaction, with a huge flare up of symptoms, and was back in bed for a few days.  It taught me two things :

1) That this stuff was powerful

2) That it was to be respected!!

People going through M.E./CFS, especially in the earlier stages, can be very prone to chemical sensitivities.  Those of you who have been on supplements, will have ~I'm sure experienced nasty die off symptoms when introducing something new too quickly or in too large a dose.  This is what I suspect happened when I had that first Epsom Salts bath, and it taught me a valuable lesson - start small and build up slowly.  Remember, the tortoise always wins the race. And I'd say take this approach with your health more generally - if you're suffering from chronic illness or not.  

You don't need to climb Everest in a day..if you do you'll just burn yourself out and have to start over again.  If we take it one step at a time, and acknowledge the steps we are taking, no matter how slowly, we can acknowledge we are making progress.

Researchers and physicians suggest these health benefits from proper magnesium and sulfate levels, as listed on the web site of the Epsom Salt Industry Council:

• Improved heart and circulatory health, reducing irregular heartbeats, preventing hardening of the arteries, reducing blood clots and lowering blood pressure.

• Improved ability for the body to use insulin, reducing the incidence or severity of diabetes.

• Flushed toxins and heavy metals from the cells, easing muscle pain and helping the body to eliminate harmful substances.

• Improved nerve function by electrolyte regulation. Also, calcium is the main conductor for electrical current in the body, and magnesium is necessary to maintain proper calcium levels in the blood.

• Relieved stress. Excess adrenaline and stress are believed to drain magnesium, a natural stress reliever, from the body. Magnesium is necessary for the body to bind adequate amounts of serotonin, a mood-elevating chemical within the brain that creates a feeling of well being and relaxation.

• Reduced inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps.

• Improved oxygen use.

• Improved absorption of nutrients.

• Improved formation of joint proteins, brain tissue and mucin proteins.

• Prevention or easing of migraine headaches.

 (And if you're well enough to drink any alcohol, it's also great for a hangover!)

My General Guidelines for those Recovering from M.E./CFS (or other chronic illness)

1)  Fill up the bath with warm hot water (you don't want it overly hot as this is likely to  exhaust you)

2) Add in just half a teaspoon. (Don't worry, you can work to up to 2-3 cupfuls over time) I would urge caution when increasing the Epsom Salt load dramatically, as your body is likely to be sensitive to changes in this fatigued state.  

3) Soak in the bath for 12 minutes. (I generally found longer than this and more severe symptoms would start showing themselves again) I wouldn't bathe more than twice a week with Epsom Salts, as too much of one thing can become a burden on the system. 


CAUTION - if you have negative reactions ie hyperactivity or irritability, decrease the amount you put you use. 
                 -  your body may feel a bit heavy the next day. That's good, it shows the sulfate has entered your muscles and softened a lot of tension being held there.
                 - if you feel a bath is too much for you right now, just start by adding Epsom Salts to hot water in a tub and just soak your feet in it.
                 - if you are pretty knackered before having a bath, give it a miss on that occasion, you don't want to make you body more tired than it already is.
                


Where to Buy

Amazon have a wide range of stockists, although the best quality I've found at a reasonable price is http://www.justasoap.co.uk. 



Hoping you're as well as you can be, wherever you are :-)


Adam x



   

The Essential Presuppositions of Neuro-Linguistic Programming

If you're interested in NLP and the study of excellence, you're in the right place.  However, it's  important if you want to gain  more excellence in your life, socially and at work, that you adopt the following presuppositions of NLP.  Remember, these were built over years of analysing and studying those who excelled best in their field.  Try consciously adopting some of these today, and notice the subtle changes :

1) Choice is better than no choice.

Having options can provide more opportunities for achieving results.
We are always communicating.2) The meaning of your communication is the response you get.

Even when we remain silent, we are communicating. Non-verbal communication makes up for 55% of our message (Mehrabian and Ferris : "Interference of Attitudes from Non-Verbal Communication in Two Channels," The Journal of Counselling Psychology, Vol. 31, 1967, pp.248 - 52)


3) Respect for Other People's Map of the WorldWe are all unique and experience the world in different ways. Everyone is individual and has their own special way of being.


4) Flexibility is the key to success.

The person with the most flexibility will control the system

5) There is no failure, only feedback.

What seemed like failure can be thought of as success that just stopped too soon. Use feedback as an opportunity to improve your performance. Just look at Michael Jordan, the greatest NBA player of all time.

6) Behind every behaviour there is a positive intention.

When we understand that other people have some positive intention in what they say and do (however annoying it may seem to us), it can be easier to stop getting angrier and start to move forward.

7) Mind and body form a linked system.

Your mental attitude affects your emotions, your body and your health and, in turn,your behaviours

8) There are no resistant clients, only inflexible communicators.

Resistance is a sign of lack of rapport.

9) Anything can be accomplished if the task is broken down into small enough steps.

Achievement becomes easier if activities are manageable

10) People have all the ability they need.

There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states of mind.


Have a great weekend folks!


Adam