My story...so far!

I've been blogging now for almost 2 years and only today realised that I'd never actually shared my story with you wonderful people!

I find sharing one's story can be of real therapeutic value, not only to the writer, but also to readers who may well be in a similar situation.  It's a great way of getting your experience 'out there' as it were, and it's perhaps something that is a bit long overdue!

Ideally when recovered, I'd really like to publish a book of my experience through ME/CFS, my ups/my downs, how I found the answers, and how it changed me as a person, not just physically and mentally, but also spiritually and emotionally.  Maybe this blog post would be a good starting point...a practice run! I suppose I'm also writing this in the hope that it will encourage others to share their stories too. They can be so inspiring. So here goes..

Me about 2 months before getting ill with M.E./CFS. Flying off a rope-swing in Fiji, where I'd been working that summer. I was very physically active in my teenage years

As a young child and teenager I'd been pretty healthy.  Had the odd bouts of Tonsillitis and colds, but who doesn't at that age.  I was very active in the sporting arena, representing my school in Rugby and Cricket, whilst also playing men's football for a club in my area.  I had the highest stamina (or amongst the highest in my year!)  I won the 400m in my age group at sports day 3 years running (I don't write this to boast, just to emphasise how high my fitness levels were! :-) ) I pushed myself hard academically, getting A's at A Levels. I had very high standards for myself, and whatever I achieved, never seemed to be enough. I always had my eye on the next goal...the next challenge.  I suppose you could call me a very Type A personality - which is very common for people who have gone through this condition.  First year of uni flew by - drank a lot, made some great friends, had some great experiences, enjoyed my independence. It was probably the best year of my life.  I travelled to Fiji that summer (2009), and worked as a teacher over there.  It was great fun.  Once back in the UK, 2nd year was fast approaching, and I started thinking about what career might suit me best.

Then everything changed. I fell extremely ill with Gastro-enteritis. It was so bad that I could barely get out of bed (interestingly prior to this, I'd had an underlying cold for a few weeks.)  I was completely drained.  I improved somewhat, but then a week later I contracted Glandular Fever.  Double whammy.  I was so ill I couldn't even leave the house, or my room for a long time.  This period is still very hazy to me.  I think the trauma of all the unexplained symptoms, no energy, and constant dizziness has caused my conscious mind to block it out.  I kept thinking, 'What's wrong with me?' 'Why am I getting these symptoms?' 'What's happened to my energy?'  I was literally in the crash and burn phases of the illness.  In hindsight, I really should have really rested and just slept, but I just plowed on through - there was work to be done, therefore I had to do it.  The next 4 months were a mixture of unexplained painful symptoms, extreme levels of anxiety, a heavy workload, and 4 Red Bull a day.  In this first year of illness, I went through several relapses and just tried to push through everything, not realising that constantly pushing was making my symptoms worse.

Me on the far right about 2-3 months into illness...looking quite concerned! I was experiencing pretty severe symptoms at this time, always fearing I was going to collapse or get worse.

I just wanted to psychologically escape the fact that I was pretty severely ill at this point, and it did that by pushing myself like I used to.One constant problem above all else was recurrent Tonsillitis every two weeks - I could have set up my own pharmacy with the number of anti-biotics I'd been prescribed!  This first year was really tough. There was so much confusion and fear as to what was wrong with me and how I could change my situation.  I didn't realise at the time that the constant fear and anxiety about my situation was making things worse.  I somehow managed to play football still for my University team.  Even though I knew it wasn't supporting me, being active and sporty was part of my identity, and I didn't want to lose it! It was a massive struggle, I'd lost pace, and I could feel pretty awful for days after playing a game.  I remember one game where I only managed 10 minutes before I had to stop.  I was a classic 'push through the pain' case.  

I then came across meditation. This actually helped me somewhat, as it (unknown to me at the time) calmed my nervous system down. I also altered my diet to basically 'eat healthier,' without incurring upon myself any exclusions, such as gluten or sugar free.  My diet was still pretty bad, just not as bad as it was - Iceland microwave meals, KFC, and Pot Noodle).  I managed to get through Uni..just about.  However, I'd only really improved a very small amount, and was still very chronically ill.  Perhaps the biggest hinderance at this point was that I still wasn't listening to my body!

Being the typical Type A personality that I was, I decided to look for full-time work..even though I clearly wasn't well enough!  I managed to get through University, but in all honesty, my course required only a few contact hours a week, and a few essays a term.  It almost tricked me into thinking I was better than I actually was.  I got a rude awakening when I went into working life!  I decided to give advertising a shot, as it was something that genuinely interested me and judging by the series 'Mad Men,' looked like it involved lots of client lunches and Scotch.  I worked for a couple of great companies, but I really struggled through, often in extreme physical pain, and feeling intense brain fog, amongst a high level of anxiety and stress about my symptoms.  As my symptoms worsened, my job responsibilities increased.  Unknown to me at the time, by trying to fight my symptoms and resist them, I was simply causing them to intensify and worsen - it was a vicious cycle.  During this period I tried all sorts to cure me of this malady - Acupuncture, Bodywork, Osteopathy, The Lightning Process - you name it I tried it! None seemed to have a positive impact..

I simply couldn't work anymore. Even getting out of bed was a massive challenge, and a painful one.  I had to stop and work on improving my health.  As many of you Type A's will understand, this was a massively hard decision, as by giving up the ability to work and achieve, we are essentially giving up much of our identity and how we define ourselves in that moment.  Unfortunately during my notice period, my employer decided to lump about 6 months work upon my shoulders.  This made me even worse physically, and I actually recall a week before my last day, going to the nearest pub after work and sinking about 4 pints (and feeling even worse!) That was a real low point for me..

I took a month off to relax and re-evaluate.   This was where my turnaround began.  Up to this point I had 3 and a half years of no improvement, and worsening of symptoms.  I was lucky enough to come across The Optimum Health Clinic in North London, through a YouTube video I think.  I initially signed up for their Practitioner Training, as I wanted to work in the field of Therapy, and ideally with people looking to improve their health.  I soon found that this clinic was really at the forefront of M.E. research, and I could see that they offered some fantastic treatment (NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, Coaching.)  I soon signed up as a patient, having seen the numerous recovery stories.  I started working with one of their Nutritionists.  This was when I first noticed a change.  My gut had been an absolute state for around 4 years, but once I got on the nutritional plan, within a few months that seemed to sort itself out.  I was found to have Mitochondrial Dysfunction, so we treated that too.  At this point, I also learnt that I needed to slow down, pace myself more, and listen to my body.  This I have found is vital in improving your symptoms and condition.  I also had a few sessions with one of the Psychology Practitioners, and was taught tools to help calm my system down. This took out a lot of the anxiety that I'd been feeling around symptoms etc.  Progress was slow, but at least it was progress.  It got me up to around the 75% mark.  However, something was still missing, as I was still falling into 'Booming and Busting' patterns.  I was referred to an exercise physiotherapist in October 2014 who specialised in CFS.  When I first started working with her I could only manage 8 minutes walking a day without my symptoms getting a fair bit worse.  4 or so months later, I'm up to 26 minutes a day (without my symptoms worsening), plus 1-2 hours work per day, and Yoga 2-3 times per week.  Tangible progress.  I still have a fair way to go on this, as once I get to 30 mins per day, I gently and incrementally increase the intensity, until I'm jogging everyday and doing some resistance training without a worsening of symptoms.  To reinforce my belief systems, I also regularly read and listen to recovery stories (and they are plentiful these days :-) ) They offer such great wisdom and advice.  I also consistently use the tools I've been taught at The Optimum Health Clinic to help reduce anxiety levels around symptoms etc.

I suppose I wrote this to highlight that change is possible, even when it can seem impossible at times.  The number of times I had tried something new with no success, and went home beating myself up about it were innumerable.  I've had some pretty dark nights of the soul in the last few years, but things are now looking much more positive and structured.  I think I found things that work for me because I kept on believing and never gave up.  Belief is a powerful thing, and it's up to us to harness the positive aspects of belief.

Hope you enjoyed reading.



Adam
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Mindfulness : Are We Doing it Right?

In just a few decades, Mindfulness Meditation has gone from being a specialist element of Buddhist teaching to the must have app for celebs, and corporate businesses use it to boost productivity and to reduce staff stress levels.  It's even prescribed on the NHS now for health purposes.  So why has this become so popular in such a relatively short space of time?  There's so so much to say about this, of which I will delve into in later posts.  In this edition, I'm simply going to explore how it is being received and used in Western Culture.  Let's explore this...

[I'd like you to just become aware of your breath and allow it to become deeper, counting up to 3 on the inhale, and 3 on the exhale...notice any sensations in your body...feel the support of the ground beneath you...and just give yourself some time to notice the sounds around you...notice the room around you.] 

This is effectively coming into the Present, and this is the essence of Mindfulness Meditation.  It's really about awareness! Being aware of yourself.  It's likely you'll feel more grounded and calm in this moment.  A brief release from the stress of our everyday life.  When was the last time you actually did this?  Do you think you could benefit from doing this more often.  

I know what you're thinking...

1. I'm too busy for this.  What if I miss a deadline?
2. What if I become boring?  What if I become too relaxed?
3. How can I slow down my mind? Even if during these periods of Mindfulness, my mind becomes quieter and I feel more clarity, what about when I'm finished.  My mind speeds up again and I'm back where I started!
4. What if I become obsessed with it, give up all my belongings, and move to Thailand to become a Buddhist monk? (YES I'VE REALLY BEEN ASKED THIS!)

These are all really valid questions!  When I first started learning about Mindfulness, these were questions I was constantly asking myself.  I had this constant battle (known in Psychology as 'Mental Tennis') in my mind about how this could work for me.  My mind ran so fast, how could I slow it down safely without losing something important?

However, in my scenario, with the condition I was going through, Mindfulness Meditation was the only thing that could lessen my symptoms initially. I'm still not sure exactly how...but studies have shown that it calms down the nervous system and the stress response, and as a result, it probably released the anxiety and fear I was feeling about my relentless symptoms that had become my world 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  

The most important thing I learnt was to not be scared of what was happening in my body, and that it was an ally in healing, not an enemy!  On hearing the body's messages,  it was simply trying to give me useful feedback i.e. you've overdone it today, you need to rest and take it easy this afternoon.

Anyway, I digress! Let me come back to the 4 questions above, in particular Q3.  This seems to be the most common problem associated with Mindfulness Meditation.  This seems to be the way it is taught in many large Corporate Businesses like Google, Starcom MediaVest (I know this one from experience!), and the big City banks.  They use the format of getting employees to sit down on a mat for 20 minutes at lunchtime once a week, focus on their breath, observe their thoughts, and just become aware of themselves in the room. Great!!

HOWEVER! This doesn't really address the core issue here...these employees are still being burdened with ever increasing workloads that are often beyond their capabilities, and are being subjected to 12-14 hour days.  If we're being honest, the old 9-5 working day paradigm simply doesn't exist anymore!  Therefore, what I'm advocating here, is not just being Mindful for those 20 minute sessions here and there, but being more mindful in life in general on a daily basis.  This is the REAL essence of Mindfulness 

This doesn't mean you need to sit and meditate all day every day.  By all means, have a daily connection practice of meditation for 10-20 minutes per day (perhaps just closing your eyes on the train to work), but how about going through your day simply....

• being mindful of what is happening in your environment
• being mindful of your thoughts but not attaching yourself to them
• being mindful of your reactions or emotions around other people (you're likely to notice different emotional feedback from different people)
• being mindful of your breath, your body, and its stillness (this is the best and easiest way to become Present)

That's all it takes! It's not easy at first, and takes practice, but it's likely that you'll find you have more energy freed up in your body, more clarity, and more detachment from intense situations.  The best thing is that anyone can learn this, it's the act of simply tuning into your body and your breathing.  At it's very core, it's an extremely calming, relieving, and satisfying feeling to experience!

Below is a short Mindfulness taster, led by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, is Professor of Medicine Emeritus and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.  It's quite amazing how simple, yet powerful this modality is!

An additional resource for us secular folk is by P Mark Williams, Professor of Psychiatry at Oxford University. Click here

Mindfulness isn't for everyone, and it certainly takes discipline, but I suppose the question to ask is : what have you got to lose?

Now breath deeply and relax my friends, because this particular journey through Mindfulness has come to an end :-)

Nutribullet - worth its weight in gold?

'What on earth is a Nutribullet?' That was the first question that came into my head when this fairly recent contraption was mentioned and recommended to me by a friend. The name itself makes it sound like it contains a round of live ammo.  


After being told about it, I checked out the adverts on Youtube, and to be honest, they were all really Americanised with quotes like, "You got all that from one orange???" and so on... Furthermore, the way it did what it did seemed too good to be true, and perhaps even staged. Oh wait, I haven't explained what this Nutribullet gadget is yet. Here goes....

'The NutriBullet is effectively a very powerful blender. It completely breaks down your food, liquefying and mixing together all the essential nutrition. It literally pulverises fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds, giving you all the nutrition.'

Sounds cool huh? But wait, there's a catch...most retailers price this product at £99.99, which let's be honest, is expensive for a blender.  However, given that Christmas was round the corner at the time of me discovering this, and the fact my juicer was on it's last legs/dead, I put it on the Christmas/Birthday wish-list. That's what I like about Christmas..if you don't like it, at least you didn't lose money over it, and if you can get your mitts on the receipt, you can swap it for something else! Anyway, I digress..

Once I got it home, I wasn't really sure how I'd fit what I'd normally juice into this fairly small blender on steroids.  So instead I just used about half the amount of fruit and veg I'd normally use (recipes at the bottom of this page).  

Taken From Here

I must say I was really impressed by the flavour and texture. It's a fair amount denser than a juice, but it has the huge advantage of keeping all the nutritional value, along with loads of fibre, which you don't get with a juice.  There was also a noticeable change in my energy levels and strength, which was a wee added bonus.  In addition to this, it's much easier to clean than any smoothie maker or juicer I've ever come across. Takes about 30 seconds. Simples...

There's no doubt it's the best blender out there, but as I mentioned earlier, it comes at a price!  On the flip side, it's cheaper than buying your smoothies and juices retail.  If this is something that interests you, feel free to comment in the box below. I'm always on the lookout for a good deal, so if one comes up for a Nutribullet, I'll post it up on my Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/adam.lomax.73)

Below I've listed a few tasty recipes you can try with Nutribullet, but which can easily be used in any juicer/blender/smoothie maker : 

Spiced Oatmeal Blast

Ingredients  :
1 Handful Kale
1 Ripe Banana
½ Cup Oats
½ Apples
1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil
2 Dates
1 Teaspoon Maca
½ Teaspoon Ceylon Cinnamon
¼ Teaspoon Nutmeg
To Max Line Almond Milk

Directions
Add all ingredients to your Tall Cup and extract for 30 seconds, or until smooth.

Orange Beet Blast

Ingredients :
1 Handful Kale
½ Beet
4 Chunks Pineapple
½ Orange
1 Teaspoon Coconut Oil
To Max Line Coconut Water

Directions
Add all solid ingredients into tall cup
Fill to MAX line with water/Coconut Water
Blend until smooth, approximately 30 seconds


Power Gulp

Ingredients : 
1 Handful Kale

1 Handful Green Grapes

1 Cucumber

1 Green Apple

Directions
Add all solid ingredients into tall cup
Fill to MAX line with water/Coconut Water
Blend until smooth, approximately 30 seconds



NOTE 1 : If you're interested in buying a Nutribullet, the best thing is to buy from source. In that way you know you're getting guaranteed quality and are likely to get some form of warranty for free. Here's the site : http://bit.ly/1xMm0LN

NOTE 2 : Give organic a chance, it really does make a difference, and it usually tastes better too.

What is the Placebo Effect and why is it so Powerful?

Taken from here

"Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself." Robert Collier 

I keep getting behaviourally retargeted with ads for the latest Placebo album at the moment - its got me thinking about the Placebo Effect.  The placebo effect has been known about for generations by doctors, and underlies the incredible power of our minds to heal the body.

I first came across the placebo effect some years ago when my doctor offered me prescription drugs to sort out some severe chest pains I was experiencing at the time. In 5 days the pains in my chest were gone, brilliant! The next time I saw the doctor and explained my relief, he responded with, "The restorative powers of sugar are incredible aren't they..." What...I'd been given sugar pills? At first I felt a bit cheated. I was a university student who had just spent £10 on sugar pills when I could have spent it on booze instead. What a rip off! 

However, my mindset changed when I started thinking how this sugar pill could possibly have made me better. This is where my research began.  It all comes down to how powerful our minds are at influencing the body, and in particular, our belief systems. I just knew that those painkillers would sort out my chest pain, I didn't even need to think about it. How could painkillers fail? It just does what is says on the tin. This If we believe something, it directs our subconscious to do everything in its power to prove that belief right, and this in turn makes the necessary changes within our bodies. The concept of the self being an autonomous being is a deeply held belief in western civilisation, but we affect each other all the time. If our doctors wholeheartedly believe that the treatments they are giving us have every chance of working, we are more likely to believe it too. If a doctor's influence makes us feel more positive about our health, it will make us more optimistic, and our optimism has a direct effect on our health.

Yes this picture is a bit creepy

When testing the placebo effect, Tor D Wager conducted a study in 2004 with a placebo cream he told the subjects would take away pain. He then inflicted pain on them and watched them in an MRI scanner. Those who had been given the cream (the control group had nothing) showed "placebo effect patterns" in the prefrontal cortex. This part of the brain activates when anticipating pain relief and triggers a reduction of activity in pain-sensing areas of the brain. Wager suggests that this interplay within the prefrontal cortex may also trigger a release of pain-relieving opioids in the midbrain. Wow, we can relieve pain without any drugs! 

Incredibly, a recently published study declared that

Taken from here

97% of 783 GPs admitted that they had recommended a placebo to a patient. This indicates that most of you reading this will have been prescribed a placebo at some point in your life. The likelihood is, however, that it had exactly the same effect as the conventional medicine you thought you were getting. Our minds are THAT powerful.  Placebo's can come in the form of sugar or chalk pills to heal various ailments, and have even been used in surgery, known as Sham Surgery, where the surgeon makes an incision into the patient, then seals them up without doing anything. In many cases, the patient's symptoms magically disappear... 

Next time you visit your GP and you are prescribed drugs, be mindful of the doctor's beliefs.  Ask him how successful the drug is? What is the success rate?  Then judge your body's response on what the doctor has told you to expect. 

Our Emotional Brain

"When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions." W. Clement Stone - Businessman, Philanthropist & Author of Success System That Never Fails 



Hi all!

Today I'm going to delve deeper into our emotional brain and how it drives our behaviours and bodily feelings.  

Psychologists define emotions as a combination of cognitions, feelings and actions [source: Kalat]. Put simply, 'emotions' incorporate feelings, but also how we process and respond to those feelings.

This is possible because every time we have a thought, the brain produces a chemical, which travels down into the body.  Emotions are the effect of these chemical messages travelling through the body.  

If you are currently experiencing stress, anxiety or fear, you body is likely to contain high levels of adrenalin, cortisol, and Norepinephrine.  This is known as the 'Fight-or-Flight' response, and is great for if you need the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.  In this scenario, 'Fight-or-Flight' is useful.  However, chronic stress causes adrenalin, cortisol, and norepinephrine to run through your body constantly, which causes the de-regulation of cells, and our primitive bodies just aren't designed for this long-term.  Sit back for a second...Is your heart rate faster than usual? Are you breathing at a quicker rate than normal? Do you feel tense.  If so, this is effectively your brain telling your body that you are stressed or anxious, and your body is literally reflecting your mind!  

Don't worry, there's a flip side, and its important we adopt this for our health and wellbeing.  When experiencing happiness, joy, love, fulfilment, the list goes on...the brain releases chemicals into our body that have the complete opposite effect.  Dopamine  (known as the love chemical) is released, enabling the body to experience pleasure.  In other words, when you do something good, you're rewarded with dopamine and gain a pleasurable, happy feeling. This teaches your brain to want to do it again and again. Serotonin is also released, and is associated with memory and learning.  These positive emotions are critical in allowing the body to repair itself.  Next time you're feeling comfortable, or happy, take note of your pulse - does it feel more normal? does your body feel lighter? has your breathing rate normalised?

Well I hope you found this interesting,

Until next time, 

Adam