My Approach to Emotions and M.E./CFS

This is an issue very close to my heart, given I'm planning on working in this field once fully qualified.  I know that this may seem like a bit of a controversial topic...how can emotions affect my CFS? This isn't all mental..I'm in physical pain, I'm tired, I have brain fog all the time..what the hell does emotions have to do with all this??

Firstly, I absolutely agree that M.E/CFS is a physical illness, I have blood tests to prove it! However, I feel that focusing on purely the physical side really limits our scope in relation to recovery.  Think about it..if this condition was purely physical, all we'd need to do was rest and our body would be able to fully recover itself.  Also, if it was purely physical, GET (Graded Exercise Therapy) on its own would cure everyone.  However, this rarely seems to be the case.  Don't get me wrong, rest and graded exercise (at the right stage of recovery!) can be really supportive in overall recovery, but on their own, don't generally get us well.  

I'm an advocate of a more integrative approach to health.  Having listened to, read about, and seen so many recovery stories, I've noticed one common thread that runs through virtually all of them - they integrated their approach to getting fully well, harnessing not just the physical side, but also the mental side.  

It's absolutely normal to experience strong emotions when we are ill.  We can lose much of our independence, our friends, our jobs....in effect, much of our livelihood.  The constant worrying about this, and most prominently our symptoms, can exhaust us and really vamp up our nervous system (anyone familiar with that Tired but Wired feeling?)  

Tired but Wired

Often the most painful thing can be resisting these emotions and thoughts, because resisting them can often be more scary than just accepting them and honouring them.  In addition to this, the resistance of these emotions can also be a drain on our already limited energy sources, which in effect can compound us to more symptoms, more panic, and more exhaustion.  

I'm not going to go into too much depth about what has helped me on my healing journey on the emotional side, as that is beyond the scope of this post and something I could talk about for weeks...literally!! What I will do is talk you through a few things that have helped free up some energy for me by working with my emotions and thoughts.  By the way, this isn't mainstream, it's considered 'alternative' by Western Medicine, but for every 95 out of a hundred recoveries, their approach has been alternative.  

1)  STOP RESISTING SYMPTOMS - by resisting symptoms we're using a hell of a lot of energy. Often more energy than going for a walk.  Think about a time you've been lying in bed for days and are feeling no better than when you first got under the covers.  Chances are that you're running loads of anxiety patterns about when you'll get better, whether you'll be able to see your friend tomorrow, why you aren't improving etc.  This is really stressful on your system, and is what someone I know refers to as 'horizontal stress!' 

I must say I needed help with this - by going to see a specialised M.E./CFS Psychology Practitioner.  They helped me identify what patterns I was running about my symptoms, and gave me tools to change them.  Much calmed down since then!  Click here for the clinic I visited. 

2.1) DEEP BREATHING TECHNIQUES - this may sound really simple, but it's really quite effective.  It won't make your symptoms go away, but it will really help you tune in more accurately to your body's messages. Accept these messages as useful feedback and try and heed them, you're body won't give you false information, it doesn't have an ego!

If I've learnt anything from going through this process, it's the importance of listening to the body and following what the body wants rather than what the mind wants! Deep breathing massively helps with this.  Click here for a useful breathing handout. 

NOTE : Deep breathing may also cause emotions to arise.  That's ok, just allow them to just be there, they're not trying to hurt you. Avoid resisting them, as this will drain your energy.

2.2) YOGA & MEDITATION - we get our benefit from Yoga through gentle stretching of the muscles, but mostly importantly, the deep-breathing we attain whilst doing it. The same applies for meditation.  This is vitally important, as deep-breathing oxygenises our cells, helps detox the body, and nourishes the soul (for any Spiritual readers out there!)

3) REACHING OUT AND RECEIVING SUPPORT - this can be anything from talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.  What I found more effective was seeking the help of a therapist (ideally one who specialises in treating M.E/CFS sufferers.)  Yes, I've seen a therapist, and there's nothing wrong with that!! I needed help where I was at, and that help gave me new perspectives on things, along with helping me process some undigested childhood traumas, which once processed, took me another step forward on my recovery process.  

I avoided taking the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) route.  I instead chose to trust my intuition, and find someone who specialised in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnotherapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique.) This really helped me identify and work with some of my deeper underlying patterns which were keeping me in this constant fear, fight-or-flight mode.  Emotional Freedom Technique was particularly powerful, especially with pain, and is now commonly used with Fibromyalgia patients.  These modalities have inspired and helped me so much, that I'm now actively qualifying in all of them.  You generally feel energised after a session, and it's something you can do on yourself whenever you need! I would recommend EFT to anyone with M.E./CFS (and trust me, I've tried a lot of other stuff!) but I'd encourage you to explore how you feel about this intuitively.  Trust your gut instinct!

4) COACHING - being our own best coach, supporting ourselves whenever we need to. This is so important, especially when we're experiencing sadness, anxiety, or any related emotions.  It keeps us motivated on our path to health and wellness, and has a wonderfully grounding quality to it.  Ask yourself, "How would I treat a 3 year old child?" Hopefully with love and care! Maybe it's time we treated ourselves like this..we're usually so hard on ourselves! You're going through a really tough time right now, it's time to cut yourself some slack!

5) GET INSPIRED! - a great way to lighten your emotional load is by reading inspiring stories by those who have faced adversity and come through the other side.  There are now A LOT of published CFS recovery stories out there! I used these to fuel my belief in recovery, as well as to gain valuable info on how to recover.  There are loads of cancer recovery stories out there too, which follow similar patterns.  Reading these made me feel a hell of a lot better about my situation at that particular time! One I would recommend is written by a now friend of mine, Alex Howard, which can be purchased on Amazon here. A hugely inspiring and deeply personal account of his 7 year journey from M.E. to full recovery.  

I really hope anyone reading this finds it helpful and not too contentious!! It's just a description of the things I've used on the cognitive side which have hugely supported my physical wellbeing.  Simply put, I wouldn't have got to this point without using these tools :-)


Adam
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@cantfailwithkale