M.E. Thought Patterns

Anyone who acknowledges the psychological aspect of M.E./CFS will be aware of the impact our thought patterns can have on our symptoms.  I'm sure you're all familiar with at least some of the following : 

• 'Will I ever recover...?'
• 'What's wrong with me...?'
• 'How long will it take me to get over this..?'
• 'Why me..?'
• 'What can help me improve...?' 
• 'Why do I feel so crap..?'
• 'Will they ever find a cure..?' (Excuse me for being dogmatic here, but in my opinion and from what all the latest research suggests, M.E./CFS is far too multi-faceted and complex for there to be a 'miracle cure.')

Having been treated at a great M.E. clinic in London, I've learnt some really useful tools to work with these thought patterns.  

These thoughts dominated my mind for so so long. In a way, it's a pretty normal response to a scary situation, right? it's understandable! We have all these unexplained symptoms..we're in pain..we unsure of why this is happening. Scary fearful thoughts are the brain's normal way of processing this, right? 

However....are they useful?  Are they helping us find a solution? Are they offering us a choice in the situation...or are they just keeping us stuck in limbo?

Interestingly, the latest research on Neurology has found that our thoughts have a massive impact on how we feel in our body.  I'll let this short clip explain : 

Interestingly, at around 0:44 secs the narrator mentions how when our body detects a potential threat (ie fear of symptoms, worry about the future etc), it releases adrenaline and cortisol into the body, putting it in a state of stress.  Imagine if we're doing this all the time..or even most of the time..or even some of the time..keeping ourselves in that 'wired' stress state. How can our bodies even begin to recover when it's constantly in a state of alarm?  Here you can see why the psychological impact of M.E. can have such a negative stressful impact on our bodies. 

Ever notice that your symptoms can intensify when you're worrying?      

I'm going to break these common thought patterns down into 4 segments to make it more digestible and easy to understand :  

1. FEAR OF SYMPTOMS ie continuously checking in with symptoms  -  probably the most common one of all.  Always checking for symptoms getting worse.  This fear kicks in that adrenaline/cortisol response  
2. MENTAL TENNIS ie should I stay in tonight or should I go out? Should I do yoga today or not? And it becomes problematic when you're going to and fro for minutes or even hours, rather than just making a decision based on what you feel your body can do  
3. CATASTROPHE THINKING ie going from feeling a bit rubbish to thinking 'I'm never going to recover' - when you start with one thought and this snowballs into something much bigger.  This again sets off that adrenaline/cortisol fear response
4. MIND-BLENDING - constantly pre-empting, planning, or replaying situations.  This type of feeling has a very speedy feeling to it

Do these sound familiar?

A massive way I've worked with this on myself is by becoming aware of the pattern, and just asking, "Is this useful to me?" or "Is this supporting me and taking me forward?"  Usually the answer is a big fat No! Then by identifying this, then asking, "What do I choose to do/think instead that would be more supportive right now?"

It may be as simple as choosing to have a nap rather than doing some work.  It may be deciding to go for a short walk rather than watch TV.  I found that letting my body guide me was the best way.

This way of stopping and reflecting has massively helped me health-wise, and enabled me to realise I have a choice in what thoughts I have!

Adam

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My story...so far!

I've been blogging now for almost 2 years and only today realised that I'd never actually shared my story with you wonderful people!

I find sharing one's story can be of real therapeutic value, not only to the writer, but also to readers who may well be in a similar situation.  It's a great way of getting your experience 'out there' as it were, and it's perhaps something that is a bit long overdue!

Ideally when recovered, I'd really like to publish a book of my experience through ME/CFS, my ups/my downs, how I found the answers, and how it changed me as a person, not just physically and mentally, but also spiritually and emotionally.  Maybe this blog post would be a good starting point...a practice run! I suppose I'm also writing this in the hope that it will encourage others to share their stories too. They can be so inspiring. So here goes..

Me about 2 months before getting ill with M.E./CFS. Flying off a rope-swing in Fiji, where I'd been working that summer. I was very physically active in my teenage years

As a young child and teenager I'd been pretty healthy.  Had the odd bouts of Tonsillitis and colds, but who doesn't at that age.  I was very active in the sporting arena, representing my school in Rugby and Cricket, whilst also playing men's football for a club in my area.  I had the highest stamina (or amongst the highest in my year!)  I won the 400m in my age group at sports day 3 years running (I don't write this to boast, just to emphasise how high my fitness levels were! :-) ) I pushed myself hard academically, getting A's at A Levels. I had very high standards for myself, and whatever I achieved, never seemed to be enough. I always had my eye on the next goal...the next challenge.  I suppose you could call me a very Type A personality - which is very common for people who have gone through this condition.  First year of uni flew by - drank a lot, made some great friends, had some great experiences, enjoyed my independence. It was probably the best year of my life.  I travelled to Fiji that summer (2009), and worked as a teacher over there.  It was great fun.  Once back in the UK, 2nd year was fast approaching, and I started thinking about what career might suit me best.

Then everything changed. I fell extremely ill with Gastro-enteritis. It was so bad that I could barely get out of bed (interestingly prior to this, I'd had an underlying cold for a few weeks.)  I was completely drained.  I improved somewhat, but then a week later I contracted Glandular Fever.  Double whammy.  I was so ill I couldn't even leave the house, or my room for a long time.  This period is still very hazy to me.  I think the trauma of all the unexplained symptoms, no energy, and constant dizziness has caused my conscious mind to block it out.  I kept thinking, 'What's wrong with me?' 'Why am I getting these symptoms?' 'What's happened to my energy?'  I was literally in the crash and burn phases of the illness.  In hindsight, I really should have really rested and just slept, but I just plowed on through - there was work to be done, therefore I had to do it.  The next 4 months were a mixture of unexplained painful symptoms, extreme levels of anxiety, a heavy workload, and 4 Red Bull a day.  In this first year of illness, I went through several relapses and just tried to push through everything, not realising that constantly pushing was making my symptoms worse.

Me on the far right about 2-3 months into illness...looking quite concerned! I was experiencing pretty severe symptoms at this time, always fearing I was going to collapse or get worse.

I just wanted to psychologically escape the fact that I was pretty severely ill at this point, and it did that by pushing myself like I used to.One constant problem above all else was recurrent Tonsillitis every two weeks - I could have set up my own pharmacy with the number of anti-biotics I'd been prescribed!  This first year was really tough. There was so much confusion and fear as to what was wrong with me and how I could change my situation.  I didn't realise at the time that the constant fear and anxiety about my situation was making things worse.  I somehow managed to play football still for my University team.  Even though I knew it wasn't supporting me, being active and sporty was part of my identity, and I didn't want to lose it! It was a massive struggle, I'd lost pace, and I could feel pretty awful for days after playing a game.  I remember one game where I only managed 10 minutes before I had to stop.  I was a classic 'push through the pain' case.  

I then came across meditation. This actually helped me somewhat, as it (unknown to me at the time) calmed my nervous system down. I also altered my diet to basically 'eat healthier,' without incurring upon myself any exclusions, such as gluten or sugar free.  My diet was still pretty bad, just not as bad as it was - Iceland microwave meals, KFC, and Pot Noodle).  I managed to get through Uni..just about.  However, I'd only really improved a very small amount, and was still very chronically ill.  Perhaps the biggest hinderance at this point was that I still wasn't listening to my body!

Being the typical Type A personality that I was, I decided to look for full-time work..even though I clearly wasn't well enough!  I managed to get through University, but in all honesty, my course required only a few contact hours a week, and a few essays a term.  It almost tricked me into thinking I was better than I actually was.  I got a rude awakening when I went into working life!  I decided to give advertising a shot, as it was something that genuinely interested me and judging by the series 'Mad Men,' looked like it involved lots of client lunches and Scotch.  I worked for a couple of great companies, but I really struggled through, often in extreme physical pain, and feeling intense brain fog, amongst a high level of anxiety and stress about my symptoms.  As my symptoms worsened, my job responsibilities increased.  Unknown to me at the time, by trying to fight my symptoms and resist them, I was simply causing them to intensify and worsen - it was a vicious cycle.  During this period I tried all sorts to cure me of this malady - Acupuncture, Bodywork, Osteopathy, The Lightning Process - you name it I tried it! None seemed to have a positive impact..

I simply couldn't work anymore. Even getting out of bed was a massive challenge, and a painful one.  I had to stop and work on improving my health.  As many of you Type A's will understand, this was a massively hard decision, as by giving up the ability to work and achieve, we are essentially giving up much of our identity and how we define ourselves in that moment.  Unfortunately during my notice period, my employer decided to lump about 6 months work upon my shoulders.  This made me even worse physically, and I actually recall a week before my last day, going to the nearest pub after work and sinking about 4 pints (and feeling even worse!) That was a real low point for me..

I took a month off to relax and re-evaluate.   This was where my turnaround began.  Up to this point I had 3 and a half years of no improvement, and worsening of symptoms.  I was lucky enough to come across The Optimum Health Clinic in North London, through a YouTube video I think.  I initially signed up for their Practitioner Training, as I wanted to work in the field of Therapy, and ideally with people looking to improve their health.  I soon found that this clinic was really at the forefront of M.E. research, and I could see that they offered some fantastic treatment (NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, Coaching.)  I soon signed up as a patient, having seen the numerous recovery stories.  I started working with one of their Nutritionists.  This was when I first noticed a change.  My gut had been an absolute state for around 4 years, but once I got on the nutritional plan, within a few months that seemed to sort itself out.  I was found to have Mitochondrial Dysfunction, so we treated that too.  At this point, I also learnt that I needed to slow down, pace myself more, and listen to my body.  This I have found is vital in improving your symptoms and condition.  I also had a few sessions with one of the Psychology Practitioners, and was taught tools to help calm my system down. This took out a lot of the anxiety that I'd been feeling around symptoms etc.  Progress was slow, but at least it was progress.  It got me up to around the 75% mark.  However, something was still missing, as I was still falling into 'Booming and Busting' patterns.  I was referred to an exercise physiotherapist in October 2014 who specialised in CFS.  When I first started working with her I could only manage 8 minutes walking a day without my symptoms getting a fair bit worse.  4 or so months later, I'm up to 26 minutes a day (without my symptoms worsening), plus 1-2 hours work per day, and Yoga 2-3 times per week.  Tangible progress.  I still have a fair way to go on this, as once I get to 30 mins per day, I gently and incrementally increase the intensity, until I'm jogging everyday and doing some resistance training without a worsening of symptoms.  To reinforce my belief systems, I also regularly read and listen to recovery stories (and they are plentiful these days :-) ) They offer such great wisdom and advice.  I also consistently use the tools I've been taught at The Optimum Health Clinic to help reduce anxiety levels around symptoms etc.

I suppose I wrote this to highlight that change is possible, even when it can seem impossible at times.  The number of times I had tried something new with no success, and went home beating myself up about it were innumerable.  I've had some pretty dark nights of the soul in the last few years, but things are now looking much more positive and structured.  I think I found things that work for me because I kept on believing and never gave up.  Belief is a powerful thing, and it's up to us to harness the positive aspects of belief.

Hope you enjoyed reading.



Adam
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My Approach to Emotions and M.E./CFS

This is an issue very close to my heart, given I'm planning on working in this field once fully qualified.  I know that this may seem like a bit of a controversial topic...how can emotions affect my CFS? This isn't all mental..I'm in physical pain, I'm tired, I have brain fog all the time..what the hell does emotions have to do with all this??

Firstly, I absolutely agree that M.E/CFS is a physical illness, I have blood tests to prove it! However, I feel that focusing on purely the physical side really limits our scope in relation to recovery.  Think about it..if this condition was purely physical, all we'd need to do was rest and our body would be able to fully recover itself.  Also, if it was purely physical, GET (Graded Exercise Therapy) on its own would cure everyone.  However, this rarely seems to be the case.  Don't get me wrong, rest and graded exercise (at the right stage of recovery!) can be really supportive in overall recovery, but on their own, don't generally get us well.  

I'm an advocate of a more integrative approach to health.  Having listened to, read about, and seen so many recovery stories, I've noticed one common thread that runs through virtually all of them - they integrated their approach to getting fully well, harnessing not just the physical side, but also the mental side.  

It's absolutely normal to experience strong emotions when we are ill.  We can lose much of our independence, our friends, our jobs....in effect, much of our livelihood.  The constant worrying about this, and most prominently our symptoms, can exhaust us and really vamp up our nervous system (anyone familiar with that Tired but Wired feeling?)  

Tired but Wired

Often the most painful thing can be resisting these emotions and thoughts, because resisting them can often be more scary than just accepting them and honouring them.  In addition to this, the resistance of these emotions can also be a drain on our already limited energy sources, which in effect can compound us to more symptoms, more panic, and more exhaustion.  

I'm not going to go into too much depth about what has helped me on my healing journey on the emotional side, as that is beyond the scope of this post and something I could talk about for weeks...literally!! What I will do is talk you through a few things that have helped free up some energy for me by working with my emotions and thoughts.  By the way, this isn't mainstream, it's considered 'alternative' by Western Medicine, but for every 95 out of a hundred recoveries, their approach has been alternative.  

1)  STOP RESISTING SYMPTOMS - by resisting symptoms we're using a hell of a lot of energy. Often more energy than going for a walk.  Think about a time you've been lying in bed for days and are feeling no better than when you first got under the covers.  Chances are that you're running loads of anxiety patterns about when you'll get better, whether you'll be able to see your friend tomorrow, why you aren't improving etc.  This is really stressful on your system, and is what someone I know refers to as 'horizontal stress!' 

I must say I needed help with this - by going to see a specialised M.E./CFS Psychology Practitioner.  They helped me identify what patterns I was running about my symptoms, and gave me tools to change them.  Much calmed down since then!  Click here for the clinic I visited. 

2.1) DEEP BREATHING TECHNIQUES - this may sound really simple, but it's really quite effective.  It won't make your symptoms go away, but it will really help you tune in more accurately to your body's messages. Accept these messages as useful feedback and try and heed them, you're body won't give you false information, it doesn't have an ego!

If I've learnt anything from going through this process, it's the importance of listening to the body and following what the body wants rather than what the mind wants! Deep breathing massively helps with this.  Click here for a useful breathing handout. 

NOTE : Deep breathing may also cause emotions to arise.  That's ok, just allow them to just be there, they're not trying to hurt you. Avoid resisting them, as this will drain your energy.

2.2) YOGA & MEDITATION - we get our benefit from Yoga through gentle stretching of the muscles, but mostly importantly, the deep-breathing we attain whilst doing it. The same applies for meditation.  This is vitally important, as deep-breathing oxygenises our cells, helps detox the body, and nourishes the soul (for any Spiritual readers out there!)

3) REACHING OUT AND RECEIVING SUPPORT - this can be anything from talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.  What I found more effective was seeking the help of a therapist (ideally one who specialises in treating M.E/CFS sufferers.)  Yes, I've seen a therapist, and there's nothing wrong with that!! I needed help where I was at, and that help gave me new perspectives on things, along with helping me process some undigested childhood traumas, which once processed, took me another step forward on my recovery process.  

I avoided taking the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) route.  I instead chose to trust my intuition, and find someone who specialised in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnotherapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique.) This really helped me identify and work with some of my deeper underlying patterns which were keeping me in this constant fear, fight-or-flight mode.  Emotional Freedom Technique was particularly powerful, especially with pain, and is now commonly used with Fibromyalgia patients.  These modalities have inspired and helped me so much, that I'm now actively qualifying in all of them.  You generally feel energised after a session, and it's something you can do on yourself whenever you need! I would recommend EFT to anyone with M.E./CFS (and trust me, I've tried a lot of other stuff!) but I'd encourage you to explore how you feel about this intuitively.  Trust your gut instinct!

4) COACHING - being our own best coach, supporting ourselves whenever we need to. This is so important, especially when we're experiencing sadness, anxiety, or any related emotions.  It keeps us motivated on our path to health and wellness, and has a wonderfully grounding quality to it.  Ask yourself, "How would I treat a 3 year old child?" Hopefully with love and care! Maybe it's time we treated ourselves like this..we're usually so hard on ourselves! You're going through a really tough time right now, it's time to cut yourself some slack!

5) GET INSPIRED! - a great way to lighten your emotional load is by reading inspiring stories by those who have faced adversity and come through the other side.  There are now A LOT of published CFS recovery stories out there! I used these to fuel my belief in recovery, as well as to gain valuable info on how to recover.  There are loads of cancer recovery stories out there too, which follow similar patterns.  Reading these made me feel a hell of a lot better about my situation at that particular time! One I would recommend is written by a now friend of mine, Alex Howard, which can be purchased on Amazon here. A hugely inspiring and deeply personal account of his 7 year journey from M.E. to full recovery.  

I really hope anyone reading this finds it helpful and not too contentious!! It's just a description of the things I've used on the cognitive side which have hugely supported my physical wellbeing.  Simply put, I wouldn't have got to this point without using these tools :-)


Adam
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@cantfailwithkale

The low-down on Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Taken From Here

"Whether or not you think you can 

  or you can't...you're probably right" 

  Henry Ford

I've been really really excited about writing this post, as NLP is an approach to psychotherapy, personal development, and communication which absolutely fascinates me, and after reading this it may fascinate you more!

So, what is "Neuro-Linguistic Programming"?

NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is the art and science of excellence, derived from studying how top people in different fields obtain their outstanding results. These communication skills can be learned by anyone to improve their effectiveness both personally and professionally. It is directly applicable to a diverse spectrum of fields such as communications, business, sales, education and therapy

Beginnings of NeuroLinguistic Programming
NLP began in the early 70's as a thesis project in California. Richard Bandler and his professor, John Grinder, wanted to develop models of human behavior to understand why certain people seemed to be excellent at what they did, while others found the same tasks challenging or nearly impossible to do.

Inspired by pioneers in fields of therapy, personal growth and development, Bandler and Grinder began to develop systematic procedures and theories that formed the basis of NLP. They studied three top therapists: Virginia Satir, the extraordinary family therapist, the innovative psychotherapist Fritz Perls, and Milton Erickson, the world-famous hypnotherapist.

Their goal was to develop models of how it was that these people got the results they did. They sought to identify and model the patterns that produced these results. These three gifted therapists were quite different personalities, yet Grinder and Bandler discovered some underlying patterns that were quite similar. These patterns became the underlying structure of NLP, with names like: meta-model, submodalities, reframing, language patterns, well formedness conditions and eye accessing clues.

The phrase "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" describes the process of how personality creates and expresses itself. Put simply, we are all made up of a neurology that conveys information about our environment to our central neurvous systems and brains. Since we are also meaning creating creatures, we translate theseperceptions in our brains into meanings, beliefs and expectations. As we continue to grow from a rather "critter brain" baby into a more complex adult human, we tend to filter,distort and magnify the input we get from our environment such that it matches the elaborate program we evolve to explain our life experience.

NLP in other Therapies

Taken From Here

Today, NLP has grown in a myriad of directions - hypnosis and behavioral personal change work, structures of beliefs, modeling personal success and systems of excelence and expertise, business coaching and sales training.  In fact, in my last job in advertising at Starcom MediaVest Group, the company ran a 4-day NLP course which offered managers and directors useful tools to improve their communication, confidence, and management skills. Some have taken it in spiritual directions, assisting in alignment of personal behaviours and beliefs with a "higher purpose" and connection to the Divine. 

It is rapidly growing in the field of personal health (the area I want to go into!) with its strong foundation in how the mind influences behaviours and feelings in the body.   Public speaking, stage fright, parenting skills, allergies, phobias, trauma...the list of areas where training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and individual therapeutic work with NLP practitioners is endless.

In the next few posts I'll be walking through some tools common in NLP to improve performance at work and in your own personal health and wellbeing.  

If you're interested in using NLP in a practical sense, this is a great place to start 

Until next time...