My Approach to Emotions and M.E./CFS

This is an issue very close to my heart, given I'm planning on working in this field once fully qualified.  I know that this may seem like a bit of a controversial topic...how can emotions affect my CFS? This isn't all mental..I'm in physical pain, I'm tired, I have brain fog all the time..what the hell does emotions have to do with all this??

Firstly, I absolutely agree that M.E/CFS is a physical illness, I have blood tests to prove it! However, I feel that focusing on purely the physical side really limits our scope in relation to recovery.  Think about it..if this condition was purely physical, all we'd need to do was rest and our body would be able to fully recover itself.  Also, if it was purely physical, GET (Graded Exercise Therapy) on its own would cure everyone.  However, this rarely seems to be the case.  Don't get me wrong, rest and graded exercise (at the right stage of recovery!) can be really supportive in overall recovery, but on their own, don't generally get us well.  

I'm an advocate of a more integrative approach to health.  Having listened to, read about, and seen so many recovery stories, I've noticed one common thread that runs through virtually all of them - they integrated their approach to getting fully well, harnessing not just the physical side, but also the mental side.  

It's absolutely normal to experience strong emotions when we are ill.  We can lose much of our independence, our friends, our jobs....in effect, much of our livelihood.  The constant worrying about this, and most prominently our symptoms, can exhaust us and really vamp up our nervous system (anyone familiar with that Tired but Wired feeling?)  

Tired but Wired

Often the most painful thing can be resisting these emotions and thoughts, because resisting them can often be more scary than just accepting them and honouring them.  In addition to this, the resistance of these emotions can also be a drain on our already limited energy sources, which in effect can compound us to more symptoms, more panic, and more exhaustion.  

I'm not going to go into too much depth about what has helped me on my healing journey on the emotional side, as that is beyond the scope of this post and something I could talk about for weeks...literally!! What I will do is talk you through a few things that have helped free up some energy for me by working with my emotions and thoughts.  By the way, this isn't mainstream, it's considered 'alternative' by Western Medicine, but for every 95 out of a hundred recoveries, their approach has been alternative.  

1)  STOP RESISTING SYMPTOMS - by resisting symptoms we're using a hell of a lot of energy. Often more energy than going for a walk.  Think about a time you've been lying in bed for days and are feeling no better than when you first got under the covers.  Chances are that you're running loads of anxiety patterns about when you'll get better, whether you'll be able to see your friend tomorrow, why you aren't improving etc.  This is really stressful on your system, and is what someone I know refers to as 'horizontal stress!' 

I must say I needed help with this - by going to see a specialised M.E./CFS Psychology Practitioner.  They helped me identify what patterns I was running about my symptoms, and gave me tools to change them.  Much calmed down since then!  Click here for the clinic I visited. 

2.1) DEEP BREATHING TECHNIQUES - this may sound really simple, but it's really quite effective.  It won't make your symptoms go away, but it will really help you tune in more accurately to your body's messages. Accept these messages as useful feedback and try and heed them, you're body won't give you false information, it doesn't have an ego!

If I've learnt anything from going through this process, it's the importance of listening to the body and following what the body wants rather than what the mind wants! Deep breathing massively helps with this.  Click here for a useful breathing handout. 

NOTE : Deep breathing may also cause emotions to arise.  That's ok, just allow them to just be there, they're not trying to hurt you. Avoid resisting them, as this will drain your energy.

2.2) YOGA & MEDITATION - we get our benefit from Yoga through gentle stretching of the muscles, but mostly importantly, the deep-breathing we attain whilst doing it. The same applies for meditation.  This is vitally important, as deep-breathing oxygenises our cells, helps detox the body, and nourishes the soul (for any Spiritual readers out there!)

3) REACHING OUT AND RECEIVING SUPPORT - this can be anything from talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.  What I found more effective was seeking the help of a therapist (ideally one who specialises in treating M.E/CFS sufferers.)  Yes, I've seen a therapist, and there's nothing wrong with that!! I needed help where I was at, and that help gave me new perspectives on things, along with helping me process some undigested childhood traumas, which once processed, took me another step forward on my recovery process.  

I avoided taking the CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) route.  I instead chose to trust my intuition, and find someone who specialised in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnotherapy, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique.) This really helped me identify and work with some of my deeper underlying patterns which were keeping me in this constant fear, fight-or-flight mode.  Emotional Freedom Technique was particularly powerful, especially with pain, and is now commonly used with Fibromyalgia patients.  These modalities have inspired and helped me so much, that I'm now actively qualifying in all of them.  You generally feel energised after a session, and it's something you can do on yourself whenever you need! I would recommend EFT to anyone with M.E./CFS (and trust me, I've tried a lot of other stuff!) but I'd encourage you to explore how you feel about this intuitively.  Trust your gut instinct!

4) COACHING - being our own best coach, supporting ourselves whenever we need to. This is so important, especially when we're experiencing sadness, anxiety, or any related emotions.  It keeps us motivated on our path to health and wellness, and has a wonderfully grounding quality to it.  Ask yourself, "How would I treat a 3 year old child?" Hopefully with love and care! Maybe it's time we treated ourselves like this..we're usually so hard on ourselves! You're going through a really tough time right now, it's time to cut yourself some slack!

5) GET INSPIRED! - a great way to lighten your emotional load is by reading inspiring stories by those who have faced adversity and come through the other side.  There are now A LOT of published CFS recovery stories out there! I used these to fuel my belief in recovery, as well as to gain valuable info on how to recover.  There are loads of cancer recovery stories out there too, which follow similar patterns.  Reading these made me feel a hell of a lot better about my situation at that particular time! One I would recommend is written by a now friend of mine, Alex Howard, which can be purchased on Amazon here. A hugely inspiring and deeply personal account of his 7 year journey from M.E. to full recovery.  

I really hope anyone reading this finds it helpful and not too contentious!! It's just a description of the things I've used on the cognitive side which have hugely supported my physical wellbeing.  Simply put, I wouldn't have got to this point without using these tools :-)


Adam
x

@cantfailwithkale

Mindfulness : Are We Doing it Right?

In just a few decades, Mindfulness Meditation has gone from being a specialist element of Buddhist teaching to the must have app for celebs, and corporate businesses use it to boost productivity and to reduce staff stress levels.  It's even prescribed on the NHS now for health purposes.  So why has this become so popular in such a relatively short space of time?  There's so so much to say about this, of which I will delve into in later posts.  In this edition, I'm simply going to explore how it is being received and used in Western Culture.  Let's explore this...

[I'd like you to just become aware of your breath and allow it to become deeper, counting up to 3 on the inhale, and 3 on the exhale...notice any sensations in your body...feel the support of the ground beneath you...and just give yourself some time to notice the sounds around you...notice the room around you.] 

This is effectively coming into the Present, and this is the essence of Mindfulness Meditation.  It's really about awareness! Being aware of yourself.  It's likely you'll feel more grounded and calm in this moment.  A brief release from the stress of our everyday life.  When was the last time you actually did this?  Do you think you could benefit from doing this more often.  

I know what you're thinking...

1. I'm too busy for this.  What if I miss a deadline?
2. What if I become boring?  What if I become too relaxed?
3. How can I slow down my mind? Even if during these periods of Mindfulness, my mind becomes quieter and I feel more clarity, what about when I'm finished.  My mind speeds up again and I'm back where I started!
4. What if I become obsessed with it, give up all my belongings, and move to Thailand to become a Buddhist monk? (YES I'VE REALLY BEEN ASKED THIS!)

These are all really valid questions!  When I first started learning about Mindfulness, these were questions I was constantly asking myself.  I had this constant battle (known in Psychology as 'Mental Tennis') in my mind about how this could work for me.  My mind ran so fast, how could I slow it down safely without losing something important?

However, in my scenario, with the condition I was going through, Mindfulness Meditation was the only thing that could lessen my symptoms initially. I'm still not sure exactly how...but studies have shown that it calms down the nervous system and the stress response, and as a result, it probably released the anxiety and fear I was feeling about my relentless symptoms that had become my world 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  

The most important thing I learnt was to not be scared of what was happening in my body, and that it was an ally in healing, not an enemy!  On hearing the body's messages,  it was simply trying to give me useful feedback i.e. you've overdone it today, you need to rest and take it easy this afternoon.

Anyway, I digress! Let me come back to the 4 questions above, in particular Q3.  This seems to be the most common problem associated with Mindfulness Meditation.  This seems to be the way it is taught in many large Corporate Businesses like Google, Starcom MediaVest (I know this one from experience!), and the big City banks.  They use the format of getting employees to sit down on a mat for 20 minutes at lunchtime once a week, focus on their breath, observe their thoughts, and just become aware of themselves in the room. Great!!

HOWEVER! This doesn't really address the core issue here...these employees are still being burdened with ever increasing workloads that are often beyond their capabilities, and are being subjected to 12-14 hour days.  If we're being honest, the old 9-5 working day paradigm simply doesn't exist anymore!  Therefore, what I'm advocating here, is not just being Mindful for those 20 minute sessions here and there, but being more mindful in life in general on a daily basis.  This is the REAL essence of Mindfulness 

This doesn't mean you need to sit and meditate all day every day.  By all means, have a daily connection practice of meditation for 10-20 minutes per day (perhaps just closing your eyes on the train to work), but how about going through your day simply....

• being mindful of what is happening in your environment
• being mindful of your thoughts but not attaching yourself to them
• being mindful of your reactions or emotions around other people (you're likely to notice different emotional feedback from different people)
• being mindful of your breath, your body, and its stillness (this is the best and easiest way to become Present)

That's all it takes! It's not easy at first, and takes practice, but it's likely that you'll find you have more energy freed up in your body, more clarity, and more detachment from intense situations.  The best thing is that anyone can learn this, it's the act of simply tuning into your body and your breathing.  At it's very core, it's an extremely calming, relieving, and satisfying feeling to experience!

Below is a short Mindfulness taster, led by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, is Professor of Medicine Emeritus and creator of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.  It's quite amazing how simple, yet powerful this modality is!

An additional resource for us secular folk is by P Mark Williams, Professor of Psychiatry at Oxford University. Click here

Mindfulness isn't for everyone, and it certainly takes discipline, but I suppose the question to ask is : what have you got to lose?

Now breath deeply and relax my friends, because this particular journey through Mindfulness has come to an end :-)

10 Simple Tips to Become A Master of Meditation Overnight

Following my first post, some of the great feedback I received was along the lines of, "I can't meditate because I can't stop thoughts buzzing through my head."  Sound like you? 

I completely understand where you're coming from, as initially I struggled with this practice too, but once you make the decision to actively engage with it, and practice regularly with gentle discipline, you will find it both rewarding and enjoyable.  

I like to compare it to body training at the gym...the more you work a muscle, the more it strengthens.  The same goes for neurons in the brain, as we are taught in Hebbian Theory, "Neurons that fire together wire together."  So, in effect, the more you practice meditation, the stronger the neuron connections become, the better you'll get and the easier it becomes.  

Here are my top 10 tips to ensure you develop consistent practice, and stay on track to creating a healthy body and a healthy mind!  

1. Meditate first thing in the morning or last thing at night (if possible!) - this is when you brain is most receptive to change, as it is in the alpha, dreamlike state
2. Aim to find a place at home or work suitable - somewhere quiet where you are unlikely to find distractions is perfect.  This will allow you to relax and focus much more easily
3. Make it a priority - this means putting it in the diary and committing to it in the same way you would to any other kind of meeting. Whether it is 10 minutes or considerably longer, nothing is more important than the health of your mind.  When people don't make this their priority, they often miss out and then become de-motivated
4. You don't need to 'still your mind' - above all, meditation gives your body the chance to relax and recover.  It is not useful, therefore, to resist having thoughts when meditating.  To resist thoughts is to resist relaxation, so just go with the flow!
5. To help yourself feel at ease - initially visualise a place you've been to in the past that evokes a relaxation response, perhaps a sunny beach
6. If you miss a day or two, don't be hard on yourself - this will surely undermine your efforts and motivation. Therefore, I suggest if you fall from grace one day, make the choice to get back into your routine the very next day without wallowing in failure and self-deprecation
7. Always spent a couple of minutes at the end of each meditation to reflect on its benefits - Notice how you feel, physically, mentally and emotionally. The more you establish the connection between training the mind and feeling better, clearer, or calmer, the easier it becomes to sit down and practice 
8. You only need to meditate 10-15 minutes per day - that's all it takes!
9. Have realistic expectations - Training or taming the mind is a skill to develop over a lifetime. There are some immediate benefits to be found, but some take longer than others. Just take it one day at a time
10. Have a scrap book and note any changes you feel - be it calmer, more confident, or healthier, these will be constant reminders of what you have achieved

Thanks, and remember...

Adam

p.s. Still struggling? There's a series of audios you can download from http://www.eocinstitute.org/. This is based on Dr. Heinrich Wilhelm Dove's discovery that when you introduce tones with certain frequencies into each ear, you could actually entrain the electrical patterns within the brain to resonate in very specific patterns, called brainwave states. These tones induce beta, and alpha wave states in your brain, which enables quicker meditative states.